Restless.

My roommate and I have been throwing around the crazy idea of organizing a coast to coast D.C. to L.A. march for Invisible Children. It would be a three to four month undertaking, but the experience would be incredible. Nothing set in stone yet, just a couple of college students dreaming big.

Restless. My heart is restless. My soul is restless. My mind is itchy. From time to time I think everyone has these internal bugs, but I seem to have them regularly. Perhaps part of the problem is that the summer is looming before me and I am doomed to a summer of mindless [work]. I’ve realized that I really don’t like to work. In fact, if I had the choice I wouldn’t work at all. Now, I don’t really mean not work at all, it’s just that I want to do things that I enjoy for work.

The truth is, I really don’t know what I would even want to do given the opportunity. Someone asked me the other day what I would do if I could do anything. I said, “Well, at this particular moment I’m thinking that I want to live out in the country in a place that has a field, some woods, and a pond. And I want to live out there and think, and read about what other people think, and write about what I think. Kind of like Walden.” - at least I have my retirement figured out. But really. I like to read, travel, write, think, play soccer, and spontaneous adventurous things with my friends – how in the world can I throw those things into a job description? Whatever I end up doing, I’m quite certain it will be unconventional, and more than likely I’ll be living in the poor house my whole life, simply because I refuse to give in to stifling world of materialism. I realize this is all so from the perspective of a single college student with little mind or care for future responsibilities, but that is my stage in life and instead of rushing through it, I have decided to instead openly embrace it and if possible, exhaust it.

The first thing I want to do when I graduate is take a backpacking tour across Europe, staying in youth hostiles, working temp. jobs, and then backpacking to the next city. Practical? Most definitely not. It won’t begin to pay off my school loans. But it will be worth it. You only get a chance to do these things once in your life, and that is before the reality of responsibility sets in. To some degree, I hope I am able to escape the domineering control of social expectation and retain some of my more youthful tendencies.

Anyway, I apologize for this unorganized rambling, but not enough to fix it. I think that it’s somewhat haphazard construction only reinforces the ideas in it.