a rant.

everyone needs to vent sometimes. sometimes to someone in particular and sometimes to no one at all. this is mine.

the holidays are over and i find myself once again clawing at mud to make enough money to live off of - much less keep up with my student loans. i was hoping i mattered more to *** *** than to be slashed after the holidays, but alas such a hope was not to be realized. not that i blame them. i've been thinking for months that they lose money by staffing too many people. well, the holidays are over and now i'm supposed to live off of one shift a week. i should probably be checking out monster.com instead of blogging. except that then i would only get further depressed by the number of opportunities that i lack education or experience for.

and yet, somehow i have survived since august below the poverty line. who would've guessed? me, a hard working, white, middle class american with a college education living well below what our government considers the poverty line. its almost amusing. and to think that if i was born into a different socio-ethnic group i could be on my way through a graduate program with no expense to myself. or to think that an employer might favor me because i would 'diversify' his company. am i not individual or unique enough as i am? i mean, anyone who knows me can testify that my ideologies and interests are as diverse as the next guys. do you know anyone else who double majored in lifetime fitness and historical theology? i was the first in the history of my school to do so. and yet, here i am struggling to survive.

i am not usually the type for this kind of verbal spillage. but occasionally everyone gets frustrated by reality as it is. but, i must add that through this my church and my family have come through for me when i needed it most. and that is how things should be. and for that i can be exceedingly thankful.